I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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