Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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