Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm passing your future prison.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
