Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
