what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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