Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
