doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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