Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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