I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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