Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
