im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
