Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
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It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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