hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
