You were right. It hurts to walk today.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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