yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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