we have pet lesbian snakes
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My vagina is officially offended.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
