Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
