shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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