WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize