oh god the rape fog is back!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
