i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
