I love having hate sex.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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