Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
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Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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