I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Can Purell be used as lube?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
