And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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