everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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