I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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