he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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