people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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