When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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