what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
