I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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