Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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