I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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