I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
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Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How does it feel to date your dad?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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