fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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