it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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