nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize