He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
