Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
