definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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