I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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