you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
