I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
