Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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