Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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