I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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