im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
this hospital has no fireball
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
