fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
