VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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