I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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