she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
