I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
