Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dick very happy bro
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
