i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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