Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
